Instant Karma for my Birthday

Just got back from some awesome riding at the Kingdom Trails in VT. I had a great time catching up with my old friend Brian, who invited me along. I hadn't seen the dude in about 14 years, when we were cross-tha-street neighbors in Normaltown. Back then, he showed me Tsali for the first time and we used to ride our rigid Specializedses (huh?) at Chicopee and Chase back when they were in their infancy and spent lots of time at Mitchell Bridge when it was a full blown trail system. I.e., I hadn't seen him since Captain Dondo was a staple (e.g., see the latest Dirt Rag) and Zap was maybe relevant. Since then, the dude hasn't just gotten old and slow while resisting technology like I have, but has gotten better and better and kept upgrading his stable to match. So he showed up on a sweet carbon SC Blur along with his buddy Norm - not like Norm from cheers, but like Norm who does things like race in the Kilimanjaroman. Needless to say, I lagged a little behind, especially on the 2000+ ft climb up Burke Mountain.

But the Kingdom is killer. Search for it on Youtube and you'll hundreds of crappy videos of dudes on bikes. Don't let that deter you. Take about 15 prime minutes of riding at Clemson or Bent Creek. Now multiply that to fill 3 hours and you have an afternoon at Kingdom. Being a yankee is great.

And being a yankee is also great because I can give the finger to whomever I chose (but I rarely (no really - almost never) do.) At least that's what I thought. I was doing my usual walk this morning from the butcher shop to Dunkin Donuts for a 5th cup of crappy coffee when I had to cross the street, which I did in what I thought was a completely acceptable manner - push the button, wait 5 minutes, then when I don't get the little white man, look all 5 ways, wait for the old dude in a fancy restored Bentley (or something) to make his turn, look again, the cross when the coast is clear.

Apparently this wasn't good enough for the a-hole in the fancy Bentley (or something), because he decided to yell at me - "Push the goddamn button why don't you!!"

I was in shock - in this town pedestrians and drivers get away with all kinds of shit with impunity and no one seems to care. Left-turning cars will cut off 3 lanes of traffic for minutes at a time (I kid you not) and no one ever honks. I once saw a guy stop his car (and 300 yards of traffic behind him) to get out walk around his car a half dozen times for a never-determined reason. No one ever honked. Drunks, college students, attorneys, gangbangers, and parents out with their kids walk out in front of oncoming 30 mph traffic in the middle of the block on a 6 lane road and everyone just stops. No one ever honks. It's just the worcester thing - we walk and drive (and sometimes bike - but mostly walk and drive) like assholes and no one seems to care.

So that's why I was so surprised that this guy cared enough to yell a nasty word at me after my minor infraction that didn't inconvenience him or anyone else.

So I did what I thought was acceptable here in the commonwealth - I gave him the finger. Wouldn't you? Actually this was out of character for me. Back in the 90's it was pretty much accepted decorum (at least in Athens) to shoot the bird at anyone who was annoying, but I eventually grew out of it. No sense aggravating an already out of balance redneck who is probably packing heat.

But this dude deserved it. I gave it to him in a long and serious manner from the middle of the (vacant) lane. I did in a studied and (hopefully) indigenous massholish manner. No one, I though, would guess that I was just off the truck from Georgia.

Tit for tat - the matter was taken care of in the appropriate way for southern New England way. But no - Mr. Asshole, who had probably been lovingly restoring his Bentley (or whatever) since the early 80's, wanted another piece of me and my impudent snotty young, turned 44 today, self.

So, he did the logical thing and threw the car in reverse to come back and give me a proper ass-whopping or tongue-lashing (more likely) and immediately backed into the Corolla that was, unlike him, driving in a completely legal and predictable way, thus doing at least a two grand worth of damage to her and ruining the rear half of his lovely restoration. I wonder how he's going to explain to his wife that he has to go spend $5,000 for another vintage quarter panel.

So, I got my coffee and headed home.*

I probably will hesitate before I give someone the finger again even when the deserve it, but I sure hope that he's learned not to go around being a masshole and yelling at folks who are minding their own business. And I'm sure that he won't try to drive in reverse against traffic in his fancy car again.

* OK, ethicists: I did stick around long enough to hear the victim (a nice young worcester lady) yell - "What the fuck ass hole! That was real bright - you git pissed at someone giving you the finger and you go and do this you fucking idiot" and to make sure no one was hurt. No one asked me for my info.